It's the end...

....of November as we know it, and I feel fine! *giggling*

I've made it through NaBloPoMo November!! Thank you for reading all my ramblings for the past 2 months! I won't be doing the December one because I won't be in town for a bit around my anniversary and after that we'll be dealing with gearing up for our move! *gasp* We're not going to think that far ahead though or I might go crazy.

On the other hand, NaNoWriMo didn't go so well. BUT my final word count is 12,894, which is more than I had at the beginning of the month!! So I'm counting it a success anyway, even though it's not the 50,000. It's alright, I'll keep working on it though!

I can't believe it's December already! Where the fuck does the time go? I will try keeping my blog up because I think it'll be therapeutic when I'm not trying to get posts in under a deadline.

So cheers everybody and pat yourselves on the back if you even attempted NaBloPoMo or NaNoWriMo! It's the journey not the destination, right? ;-P

Oh the things my mind wonders...

What makes some struggle with so much and still stick their chins out and keep going no matter how hard they get knocked down, while for others one small thing makes them fall to pieces and never try to get up again?

A blog post DinerGirl (you should read her blog, she has a way with words and her posts are shorter than mine!) wrote recently made that question (and others) spring up yet again in my mind. It's a question I mull over all the time and have talked about at length with many friends, we still don't have any firm conclusions. But I wonder do the things we go through have something to do with it?

I think of some of my close friends and wonder what the hell it is that keeps them going, no matter how many punches they take in this world.

P., who struggles with bipolar disorder (a diagnosis that took far too long and whom misdiagnoses and mistreatment almost killed), and yet is bravely fighting through those early twenties years, trying to conquer the things that do their best to knock her down. I see myself in her every time we talk. I remember how bad those years were for me and I'm trying desperately to be for her what I needed so much and no one would be for me. She'll make it through this period in her life and I can't even imagine the places she'll go.

J., who fights with anxiety and depression that try to choke the life out of her. A childhood that gave her many of the same issues I myself deal with, an ex who could have been the death of her, and two beautiful girls she's trying to raise in the midst of it all who she worries every day will grow up to struggle with the same things that haunt her. She juggles a million things everyday and yet bit by bit is getting closer to making a stable life for herself and her girls.

S., whose life experiences should be a best selling book. One minutes you'd be laughing and the next crying your heart out over the things she's been through. And yet, she is one of the most compassionate people I know. She'd give you the shirt off of her back and her shoes too if she thought you needed them. On top of the clinical depression she lives with every day, she has a teenage son who is going through his own psychological complexities that take more out of her than most people would be willing to go through for their children. Says a lot, doesn't it? She's tried to check out of this world several times but somehow never succeeded, and now stays in it so that she can be the advocate her son needs.

M., who I swear is my twin lost at birth. The two of us living in the same city would probably be more than any town could take. Quirkiness feeds off quirkiness and multiplies I think. It's okay though, we'd never get anywhere because we'd lose the car keys we're so absent-minded and distracted! She deals with much of the same health issues I do and time after time swears off dealing with useless doctors who are too busy chatting with drug reps to give us the time of day. And yet she tries again eventually, because she wants to not just make it through the day, but be well. She can make me laugh 'til my stomach aches. That's priceless.

And Chris. Chris....well, we're married and best friends, that should tell you everything.

And there are others... Every person I've mentioned above inspires some part of my life (including you DG) and I am thankful for them every day. They've come into my life in the oddest ways (most I met online!) and it seems to me that I collect them, these people that I can see elements of myself in, who resonate with something in me. And they keep on coming. I'm still surprised when it happens and yet I'm not, because I decided years ago to bring into my life people who help me be my true self instead of who they think I should be.

But what keeps them going? What makes them hit what seems like rock bottom repeatedly and they lay there for a minute, take a deep breath, and start hauling themselves up again? They have every right to stay down for the count and say they're done trying and yet they don't. And how do I know that? Because they are still living and breathing and creating beauty in their lives. They are still reaching their hands out to others who seem to be drowning and offering a semi-normal conversation, or a smile, or a soothing word. They help me breathe when the anxieties and obsessive thoughts that crowd my brain and restrict my life get the best of me. They give me the love, compassion, understanding, grace, and support that I can give everyone else but myself. I guess they give me what I try to give them.

Where does that come from, when others I know--who have been through far less--use the things they deal with to justify the hate they spread and the pain they inflict on others?

I still don't have any answers to those questions, but I think the ability to hope and to self analyse have something to do with it.

Change of plans...

I meant to blog something else today, but while listening through the music I got cheap from Amazon.com I came across this song on the Jason Mraz's new CD "We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things." It's not a CD I would have picked up at full price simply because I don't have any of his other music (although what I have heard of his music I've liked) so I decided to chance it and I'm so glad I did.

This song feels like a warm hug being offered to someone who feels like their world is spinning out of control and they need someone to steady them. Rumor is he wrote it for a friend going through a hard time (whose answering machine message you hear at the beginning, and then another one at the end.)

I love it so much it's going on my music player for those moments when I need to remember to breathe. It says all the things I try to tell everyone else when they feel like their entire world is unraveling.

Details in the Fabric

Calm down, deep breaths
And get yourself dressed
Instead of running around
And pulling on your threads
And breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm, then brace it
If it's a broken heart, then face it

And hold your own, know your name
And go your own way.
Hold your own, know your name
And go your own way.
And everything, will be fine.

Hang on, help is on the way
And stay strong, I'm doing everything

Hold your own, know your name
And go your own way.
Hold your own, know your name
And go your own way.
And everything,
Everything will be fine
Everything...

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts, results of static cling?
All the things that make you blow
Hell no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked,
It's just the fault of faulty manufacturing
Everything, will be fine
Everything, in time
Everything...

Hold your own, know your name
And go your own way.
Hold your own,
(are the details in the fabric)
Know your name
(are the things that make you panic)
And go your own way
(are your thoughts, results of static cling?)

Hold your own,
(are the details in the fabric)
Know your name
(are the things that make you panic)
And go your own way
(is it mother nature's sewing machine?)

Hold your own,
(are the things that make you blow)
Know your name
(hell no reason, go on and scream)
And go your own way.
(if you're shocked, it's just the fault of faulty manufacturing)

Everything, will be fine
Everything, in no time at all
Hearts will hold...

Thanksgiving

I've been trying to write a blog post about Thanksgiving for the last hour and it's just not working. Nothing goes together, some of it sounds cheesy, some cynical and sarcastic, some highly pessimistic, and the majority of it--downright blah. So instead of a coherent post, all you're gonna get is random things scattered all over the place and squished together. Sort of how a dinner plate looks on Thanksgiving now that I think about it. *snort*

1. I wonder what Native Americans think about Thanksgiving? Having some Native blood myself (as do a good portion of Americans) I can't help but think about how on the one hand Native Americans saved the starving asses of people who landed on their shore and then were killed and stripped of their land by others who followed after once America started to look attractive to their pockets.

2. Isn't it kind of funny how the whole nation that was participating in the "What I'm thankful for..." lovefest the day before, suddenly transform into a rabid, psychotic crowd that push, shove, and if need be, fight their way through crowds of shoppers to get a good deal on that toy Tommy has to have for Christmas or the big screen TV they've been drooling after? Those crowds are mean! Let's hope no one gets hurt this year.

3. Have you ever noticed how incredibly reluctant everyone is to go home for the holidays...and yet they go home for the holidays!?! What is this ritualistic torture we all put ourselves through every year? I mean, I'm thankful for my family even though they really drive me nuts sometimes, but some people's families get into knock down, drag out fights at Thanksgiving dinner, and yet they still do it every year! This is yet another reason why I think we are a nation full of masochists. Do you think the puritanical roots of the early settlers have anything to do with it? Mixed in with all that Catholic guilt from the later droves of immigrants (think Irish and Hispanic). Yeah. We have guilt issues.

4. I'm thankful for a shitload of things that I can't even put into words. I could try, but I'll forget something and then feel guilty about it! Damn it, there goes that guilt again, see what I mean about guilt issues? Fine, to override my worry over guilt, I'll list some of the things that I'm thankful for anyway! In no particular order (because if I try and order it this will never get listed): Chris, my family (even though they piss me off), friends that I love as family, my doggie family that I miss wickedly in the US, the Internets, music, $5 CD Mp3 sales on Amazon.com (yes, they do, right now, go see!), a dentist that I'm not afraid to go see, that I can afford health care even though the doctors I see make me want to punch them in the face sometimes, Barack Obama (and please lets hope he appears on this list again next year!), the experience of living in another country and all the things it has opened my eyes to, strawberries, a stable relationship that makes all the instability in my life bearable (I didn't think that was possible, but it is), that I goaded myself into starting this NaBloPoMo thing almost 2 months ago and have kept up with it (I thought for sure I'd bomb out), the ebb and flow of my life and moods--they sure do keep things interesting, sense of humor (both mine and in others), the experiences of this past year--good and bad they are what they are and have helped shape me into the person I am at this moment and I can honestly say even though some days I don't like myself very much, I'm not half bad and I'm a million times happier than I was 10 years ago.

5. Oh, and one more thing! I'm thankful for the handful of people who read my blog. You are all so very brave to check out my odd ramblings and postings every day! *snort* Thank you for being a part of my life and letting me be a part of yours. You are worth more than you know.

Some people should not own pets.

Today was a beautiful, sunny, clear blue sky, early summer kind of day here in New Zealand. After my acupuncture appointment and a late lunch, Chris and I went hunting for a better quality water bottle than the one I'm currently using. The search was for the most part useless because I can't find what I'm looking for here (or anywhere if internet searches are any indication!).

After checking all the stores in the shopping area that might carry something like that, we hopped in the car to head home. As we were driving through the parking lot I noticed a guy closing the door to his car rather awkwardly, trying to make sure the dog inside didn't wiggle its way out. On the walkway above a woman I assume was his wife waved at him to hurry up. So he dashed off to catch up with her before the traffic lights changed so they could cross the street.

Being the dog lover I am, I craned my neck to make sure the windows were cracked several inches (Chris had driven past by then) and couldn't see any open on the driver's side! I looked over at Chris and said "I think that guy just left his dog in the car in this heat with no windows down!" Chris turned the car around to drive back past and sure enough, there were no windows open on the passenger's side either, the little poodle looking dog was barking in protest of being left in the car. "Why would someone do that?" I said...then thought, well, maybe they were just going in to pick up milk or get a coffee at the nearby cafe and would be back within a few minutes. It wouldn't excuse not leaving a window open a few inches, but the dog would be alright if it was for just 5 minutes. At this point we were on the road and headed in the direction of home, but I just couldn't let it go. I felt ill over it and started crying because I was so pissed off. Chris asked me what I thought we could do, since we didn't have any number to call. I said I had no idea, but that it just wasn't right for people to leave their dog locked up in a car with no fresh air. So Chris turned the car around and said "Well, we'll just sit there and watch to make sure they come out really soon." So we parked where the car was in view, but there was no sign of the owners, and by then the dog had been in the car for almost 10 minutes.

In the shopping center there was a pet store so I told Chris to go in and see if a store associate would know what to do or who to call in case they didn't come let the dog out, since IMO 10+ minutes with the sun that strong would heat the car up to a miserable temp, even though it was in a spot with partial shade. Our car felt like an oven when we came out to it earlier and it had only been sitting for maybe 20-30 minutes. Chris went in there and came back out with the number to the local SPCA and said the store associate said we should call and report it, since obviously it was to the point where the car had to be quite hot inside, it was 15 minutes now.

So Chris walked over to the car to make sure that there were indeed no windows open, then called the SPCA and gave them the license plate number and location of the car. They said they'd send someone over right away, but they were unfortunately some distance away in rush hour traffic. 20 minutes passed and the dog was spending most of its time in the lower part of the car and not barking anymore.

At 25 minutes the SPCA officer called Chris' cell phone to let us know that she was still miles away but they had traced the plates and were able to call the owners and they were coming out to let the dog out of the car. The 5 minutes it took for the owner to come strolling out of the store felt like an eternity. He opened the door, then hunted around for a leash for 3-4 minutes before that poor dog was able to get out of the car! Then about a minute later his wife came trotting out, laughing and waving her hand at the guy. Neither one had groceries in their hand. What does that say? They weren't even done shopping after 30 minutes of the dog being in the car!! How much longer would they have strolled around in the nice, air conditioned store while their dog slowly suffocated in the car?

The only thing that kept me from jumping out of the car and screaming at them for their complete lack of consideration for the animal they were fawning over was the knowledge that an SPCA officer had their names, number, knew where they lived, and would be paying them a visit to educate them about what 30 minutes in a car could do to their pet if the day had been any hotter. And BTW, they weren't a young couple either, they had to be in their early 50's I think, so you can't even blame it on them being clueless kids.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?? Dogs are not toys they are living, breathing beings that feel heat and cold just like we do. In fact, they are even more susceptible to the heat because they have a fur coat on 24/7 and don't sweat the same way we do! We had to sit anguishing over whether it was hot enough for the dog to suffocate before someone came to let it out, all the while feeling like a big meanie for calling the SPCA and hoping that they'd learn their lesson today without any harm coming to the innocent animal involved, while the owners went shopping! I'm sure they didn't mean any ill will toward their dog, but if you're going to own a pet you need to be conscious of their needs and understand what is and isn't safe for them.

You'd better believe if that dog had stopped pacing in that car I would have done whatever I had to to get it out. In most states in the US it is illegal to leave your dog in the car for any amount of time, cracked windows or not, and a police officer or Good Samaritan can break your window to get the dog out thanks to animal cruelty laws.

On a hot, sunny day in many areas of the world, 5 minutes is all it takes for a car to heat up above 130 degrees F, and in that climate, 10-15 minutes in a sealed car can suffocate a child or a pet.

Happy Music

Life is a bit...interesting lately. Why is it when you already have a full plate someone comes along trying to add the helping of potato salad that will make your styrofoam plate break in two?? Not cool. But things will all get sorted out in time, right? Let us hope so...

In other news, all my peoples are dealing with shit in their lives that have got them down and in a funk! That's not cool either, even though I understand it's just something we all go through and in time things will come out right. But in the meantime, I say to you, my peoples (and if you're reading this, you're one of my peoples, so listen up), life is a big pile of drama for me too, I feel you, I do, and I wish that I could fix it, but I haven't figured out how to do that yet (my magic wand won't work). So in the meantime, crank up the sound on your computer (or even better-put headphones on) and have a happy song moment with me! No, it doesn't solve all the ills of this world, but music is my drug, the only thing that really takes the edge off for me, and it's all I have to offer you (well, that and an Inbox that is always open for venting). Now, I can't promise this will work for you because I found this song after an hour of hard rock music (my go-to music when I'm not happy) and was in the right place to hear it. But just in case you get a bit of a buzz from dance/trance music, here's a dose!



Watching the original version of that song by Duncan Sheik is worthwhile, the video is comical. The best part of the song? The lyrics. Have a read while you listen to the mix.

"On A High"

I'm on a high, I'm on a high
there's nothing more to it.
We are the sea and the sky
and the blue that runs through it, yeah.

and there are some who say there are so many things I need
so I run or I fight and I crawl or I scream and I bleed
I bleed, I bleed

well, it's a lie it's a lie - don't you believe it.
if you're fine then you're fine - it's all how you see it.
oh, there never will be no conspiracy of happiness.

I'm on a high I'm on a high
and there's nothing more to it
I have the sun, it's a star
why should I refuse it

and there are so many reasons I could give you why I should be down
there's not enough money or time and my love you're not around
around, around

but it's a lie it's a lie - don't you believe it.
if you're fine then you're fine - it's all how you see it.
oh, there never will be no conspiracy of happiness.

you're alive you're alive - how else could you hear me?
you are fine, you are fine - there's nothing worth fearing
'cause there never will be no conspiracy of happiness

I'm on a high, on a high
we are the sea and the sky
I'm on a high, on a high
I'm on a high

It's a lie, It's a lie don't you believe it
'Cause I've tried and I've tried, and I can't really see it
Yeah, I'm trapped inside my conspiracy of happiness
said I was yours, you were mine but I didn't really mean it
and I lied and I lied
and I wish you hadn't seen it
'cause I'm trapped inside my conspiracy of happiness
I'm on a high, on a high, there's nothing more to it, yeah.

Every bird should get to fly!

The cuteness of this is too much. My friend Su made me watch this last night and it sure did brighten up my evening. I think it's impossible to watch it and not smile. Watch the little penguin, he looks like he's having the best time!



I watched this twice before I realised it was actually a commercial for lotto. LOL

Stickers on laptops--why?

I'm selling my laptop to a friend (it's only about a year old) because we came across a great deal on a new one for a fraction of its original sale price and I needed an upgrade. Yay! While comparing the two I noticed I've been picking around the edges of the stickers on the older one. I don't remember doing it at all, in fact I've been trying really hard to leave them alone!

What is with the stickers anyway? Are they like adware-sticker style? Will computer manufacturers start auctioning off the "sticker spaces" to the highest bidder, you know, sort of like SUN auctioning for whose bull shit tool bars to include with their JAVA downloads? I get that some people think certain stickers (like ones indicating the processor or graphics card) give them visual bragging rights to the awesomeness of whatever is housed inside the plastic/metal shell, but I'm not big on the whole name brand thing and I'm not geeky enough to get a little tingly in my pants over the specs of a laptop! Do others not notice this, or do they just not care? Am I the only one who can't ignore the giant eyesores stuck below the keyboard?

Chris asked me why I don't just take them off and I don't have a good answer. There isn't any crucial info on them, it's only the ones with the warranty number and such on the underside of the computer that have to be left alone. So why do I not feel like I can just take the unimportant ones off? Hmmm...

I know, we can blame it on my childhood! *snort* I've been getting in trouble for peeling labels, stickers, band-aids, price tags, etc...since I was a little kid. When things are smooth and seem like they belong, I'm okay with leaving them be. But as soon as one little corner starts to lift up or the sticker looks like it doesn't belong there, I can't leave them alone until I've peeled them off! Unless of course I've been forbidden to do so, then I just THINK about peeling them off and try desperately to ignore them.

I guess since the stickers are on there all official looking I took it to mean I wasn't allowed to mess with them. But am I wrong? Can I really take them off? No one is going to give me hell for it like I got when I tore the tag off my pillow as a kid? Am I really asking this question? Why has it never occured to me that I could take the ugly things off!?!

Welcome to the 21st Century!

Obama will be continuing the tradition of those before him by making weekly addresses to the nation, but in addition to the radio version, there will be YouTube editions! Yes, even once he takes office! Seems like the major internet presence he had during the campaign season will be put to good use in the coming days and I for one think it's a good thing. I mean, come on, I just watched his weekly address and didn't scream obscenities or have to stomp off to the other room to keep from breaking the screen (both common occurences with Bush's lovely chats to the nation), so that's sayin' something.

Welcome to the 21st century bitches, the presidency will never be the same...



(Yes I know I posted a video with captioning, I LOVE captions.)

No Bravery

I've heard many a song about war, but somehow had not heard this one until today. Blunt served in Kosovo as an officer in the British Army and while there wrote this song. I can't even begin to imagine the images that must flash through his mind every time he sings this song. The lyrics are gut wrenching enough, but watching him sing them just....wow.



No Bravery by James Blunt

There are children standing here,
Arms outstretched into the sky,
Tears drying on their face.
He has been here.
Brothers lie in shallow graves.
Fathers lost without a trace.
A nation blind to their disgrace,
Since he's been here.

And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.
Only sadness.

Houses burnt beyond repair.
The smell of death is in the air.
A woman weeping in despair says,
He has been here.
Tracer lighting up the sky.
It's another family's time to die
A child afraid to even cry out says,
He has been here.

And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.
Only sadness.

There are children standing here,
Arms outstretched into the sky,
But no one asks the question why,
He has been here.
Old men kneel and accept their fate.
Wives and daughters cut and raped.
A generation drenched in hate.
Yes, he has been here.

And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.
Only sadness.

9 days and counting...

Okay, I give... NaNoWriMo has kicked my ass big time. Or should I say everything else going on this month has kicked my ass and NaNoWriMo has not gotten as much effort as I intended to give it? Either way, my word count is sadly lacking and I don't forsee being able to write 37,000+ words in the next week. *sighs*

I'm trying to tell myself that it's fine, I've given it my best shot considering all the other things I've been juggling this month. But really, I'm still rather annoyed with myself over the whole thing! MEH.

On a totally unrelated note, have I said lately how much I'm going to miss the incredible coffee I get here when we move to the US? With the exception of Starbucks, until I moved here I had no concept of the glorious wonders of espresso and how divine 2 shots of it are topped with some steamed milk and dusted with cinnamon... And how about the days when a healthy dose of chocolate finds itself swirled into the brew for a slightly sweet but not in any way sugary (if they make it right) dessert? Before moving here I didn't think it was possible to actually enjoy coffee without copious amounts of sugar and creamer. Oh how wrong I was!

Do you think I can fit a barrista and espresso machine in my suitcase?

Napolitano?

While I was reading an article on Huffington Post about Obama's possible pick of Janet Napolitano for Homeland Security Secretary and in the comment section several people linked to this video of Charlie Rose interviewing Napolitano and Palin about being women and governors. Check it out:

Of course, as would be expected, they are as different as night and day. Palin as usual never really answers any questions at all (although she sure does have a lot to say about energy, her favorite talking point even back then) and it's really funny to hear her talking about her opinions of what the upcoming elections would bring--the interview was done in 2007.

One of my favorite parts of the interview is when Rose asks Palin if she knows exactly what Bush administration's energy policy is and all she says is "Well, we hear about it through the media, yes!" and Napolitano then says sarcastically to Rose "You're assuming there is one...I'm looking for it..." and then shifts the conversation back to things a governor has to deal with. *snort*

I don't know if Napolitano will end up with the job, but what I know of her right now makes me think that if she does, we'll be gaining a strong, intelligent woman who is well versed in the issues this administration will have to deal with, unlike the one sitting across the table from her in that interview.

Spammy McSpammers!

Ever notice the bossiness of spammers? I was deleting a spam post today and I read this disclaimer at the bottom:

This is not spam!
You recived this messege because you are a member at yahoogroups
You can send any messege to the group address %RECIPIENTEMAIL%!
friend!

Am I the only one amused by this? It really strikes me as funny how they say that! It's like "Sure this looks like spam and reads like spam and you have 80 messages in your spam folder that are identical to this, but this is not spam because I snuck on this mailing list and spewed a shitload of spam in the last few hours before a moderator caught me, so you just have to suck it up and enjoy! Spamalicious baby!!"

*falls over laughing*

A sense of humor is essential to maintaining one's sanity while sorting through thousands of junk emails.

I need some tissues...

Ever have a song's lyrics catch you completely off guard? This one did that to me today:


I was just minding my own business, randomly playing music on playlist.com and suddenly I was tearing up! The key is to turn it up with headphones out and not watch the video. Just close your eyes for a bit and soak it in...exactly the way good music should be enjoyed.

If that one doesn't make you feel a bit mushy, try this one:

What? Still dry eyed? Alright, but it's not my fault I had to pull this one out. If you'd just cried at Damien or Sinead you could have been spared this one:


His voice conveyed the rawness that I think is missing in a lot of other covers of that song. I find myself wondering how he'd sound singing that now, 10+ years later, but that's one we'll never know...*shakes head*

Books books books...how I love them.

Read any good books lately?

I'm reading Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Estes is a Jungian psychoanalyst who in the book tells stories from all different cultures and then gives interpretations of them and how the relate to Jungian archetypes and the different phases of our lives as women.

Considering my love for both ancient myths and Jung, I'm surprised I haven't come across the book before. A friend is reading it and ordered me to read it as well (so she'd have someone to read it with). I'm not very far into it, but I can already tell it's one of those books you read bit by bit, taking time to digest every little piece before you move on to the next bite, in order to fully take in what is being said. I LOVE books like that. Since it looks like a pretty good book and the women I know who have already read it years ago have given it rave reviews, I've decided to give it out as early Christmas presents to a few friends and my sister so I can see the different perspectives. I figure the more points of view, the better. The women in my life are quite diverse as far as ages and lifestyles, so that will make it all the better!

All my holiday gifts this year are books coming from Better World Books. I'm a huge fan of giving books as gifts and since most of my family and friends are voracious readers it works out in my favor. Better World Books sells both new and used books with free carbon neutral shipping within the US and $3.97 shipping worldwide. The sales of their books go to help fund literacy programs both in the US and worldwide, and they even run a buy-back program where they'll pay for you to ship donated books to them! Buying used books is a great form of recycling IMO, plus you get more books for your money and who can resist that??

So, if you've got gifts to give this year, check out their website. And if you're looking for something to get your brain churning, read Women Who Run With the Wolves with me!!

Nonsense

I have nothing to blog about tonight. Nothing of any substance at all! So I'm going to instead ramble nonesense for a few paragraphs so I can feel that I've made my daily contribution to this blog, since it seems to be the only Na-WhatTheFuckEver I can accomplish!

I've had a relatively interesting day, but not the sort of interesting that you blog about, since really the interesting parts are all mundane.

I'm still itching from the weird sun rash, which may be a photosensitive rash thanks to the 1,000 mg King Kong dosage of Naprosyn I take every day! I'm not impressed.

I think I should chop off my hair. Or at least a good 6 inches of it. I could keep babying it and going through shitloads of conditioner and pretending it's okay, but it's not. I love my long hair, but I made a vow when I started growing it out years ago that if it ever got to the point that it looked blah and lifeless, then I would cut it off. It's better to have short, healthy hair than frizzy, damaged hair. I don't believe in long hair for the sake of long hair. So now I'm just trying to talk myself into letting someone chop it off...meh.

Oh...I just remembered that there is a container of perfectly ripe strawberries in the other room! *does a happy dance* I know, a happy dance over strawberries?? But you just don't understand how much I love berries and how bloody long I've been waiting for them to be ready! I have to ration them to myself or I'll eat too many too soon in the season and get the strawberry rash, which then means you can't have them again that summer! Needless to say been there, done that as a kid and it was one tragically depressing summer.

And with that I'll end my contentless yabber. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have something more worthwhile to write about! Like, maybe some progress on that writing thing that shall remain nameless.

The sun is so mean to me...

It is! Yesterday Chris and I drove 2 hours south to Hamilton (a smaller city in NZ) to get a computer that was on clearance for $400 cheaper than originally, and they had one of the only stores left in NZ that had any in stock. Yes, this is what happens when one is married to a computer geek, but I love Hamilton (and this was a perfect excuse to get away from the computer for a day and truthfully, NaNoWriMo *snort*) so I wasn't complaining any!

Hamilton is famous here for "Hamilton Gardens". It's huge, full of gardens representing designs and plants from all over the world. Twice before we've been to Hamilton and managed to run out of time with other things (or end up with shit weather), so when we saw it was supposed to be a clear day we decided to go walk the gardens and take pictures (I'll post them eventually).

Since we were going to be outdoors in the brutal NZ sun, we both doused ourselves with sunscreen and took advantage of the shade when possible. I lucked out and didn't burn at all, so we'll be using that sunscreen all summer! A soak in tepid bath water last night still didn't bring out any burn, so I figured I'd gotten away with the 2-3 hours out in the sun, right? NOPE

Earlier today I noticed my arms felt like they had tiny bumps on them, you know, like I was covered in goosebumps, but they weren't goosebumps? I call it a sun rash. Usually the bumps go away within a week and don't bother me much, but not this time. I'm sitting here itching up a storm and the raised bumps are pinkish and now along the tops of my hands, fingers, cheeks, and upper chest. Basically, anywhere the sun hit. WTF is up with that?

Doctors always laugh when I say sometimes I think I'm allergic to the sun...little do they know how it really is. I've had the rash for years, but this is the worst it's been. I don't think it's the fault of the Plaquenil though because I was on it last year and as long as I was careful about sunscreen and being in the shade as much as possible I only got the rash if I started to burn.

This doesn't bode well for the rest of the summer 'cause the sun will only get more intense as we head into December.

OMG somebody make the itching stop! Alright, I gotta go Google to see if I can find something to help 'cause this is so not cool.

Desiderata

Desiderata

by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Extinction?

Why should we ban gay marriage?

Extinction.

Yeah, that's right. I've heard a lot of reasons lately, but that one had me laughing my head off earlier today! I wish I could find where I read it, but the gist of it was something like 'If we continue to permit the gay lifestyle then as more and more people choose to be gay, there will be less couples to procreate and eventually we will become extinct. Sure it won't happen in our lifetime, but it will happen if this continues to go on.'

Yes, they were dead serious.

I suppose then that we should ban infertility, nuns, priests, virgins, menopause, erectile dysfunction, voluntary celibacy, and all sex acts that are not pro-creative...oh wait, places have already done that last one! *snort*

Wind of Change

The past few weeks this song has been playing in my head. Tonight it wouldn't quit, so I had to go hunt down the video. Whenever I hear this song I immediately think of being a child and hearing about the fall of the Berlin Wall. Even though I was quite young at the time, I sensed it was an important event happening in the world around me.

I remember lying in the back of my parents car one night maybe a year later, watching the streetlights zip by in the darkness as we were headed home. The haunting whistling of this song filled my ears as I wondered what a wind of change would look like.

I think we all saw it last week, blowing through the US. Beautiful, wasn't it?

May it continue to blow and bring down the walls that the last 8 years have built between us and the rest of the world.



"The world is closing in, did you ever think
that we could be so close, like it brothers?
The future’s in the air, I can feel it everywhere
blowing with the wind of change.

Take me to the magic of the moment on a glory night,
where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change."

-Scorpions "Wind of Change"