Please, watch this, then tell me, what is it to you?
You can read the full text of this clip here.
High Summer Lunch Salad
4 days ago
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
First They Came...
Words from this poem have been itching the back of my mind for weeks now and just a few minutes ago when reading the last post I wrote, I remembered it in full. Here is the translation from the original:
First They Came... By Martin Niemöller
When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.
First They Came... By Martin Niemöller
When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Thank You
Thank you Jason Linkins for noting a particularly moving part of Powell's interview on Meet the Press. Before you read the rest of this blog post, please follow the link to that post.
Thank you Colin Powell for saying what needed to be said, and what many of us have been trying to say for a long time.
Thank you Specialist Kareem Rashad Sultan Khan, for being so passionate about serving your country, and for giving your life to fight in the Army while some of your fellow countrymen cannot bring themselves to see you as their brother.
And to Elsheba Khan, I am so sorry for the loss of your son's life as he proudly served a country where some of the "leaders" and your fellow citizens say "Arab", "Islam" and "Muslim" like they are dirty, hate filled words. Please know that there are many among you who believe you have as much right to your religious beliefs as the rest of us do, who mourn the loss of lives in Iraq no matter what race, religion, nationality, or "side" they are on, and who fight the racial/religious profiling and stereotyping of people within our borders.
To those who may be tempted to make some snarky comment about this post, say what you will, but let me just clarify something for you. I personally am proud of our men and women in uniform and support them wholeheartedly. It IS possible to support our troops and yet not support the war. My heart breaks for every family who have had their loved one deployed for months at a time, 2, 3, 4 times in a row, just as it breaks for those whose loved ones come home in a box, and those in Iraq who lose loved ones every day that the media forgets about. As a Democrat I do believe there is a time and a place for the use of our military, I just believe in this case the government got it wrong and a lot of people have paid the ultimate price for it.
I post things like this because unfortunately there are too many people in this country who seem to forget that our military is happy to enlist you, regardless of your race, religion, gender, and often even your sexual orientation. Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Wiccans, Atheists, Agnostics, Christians, and Pagans (as well as numerous other religions) serve side by side every day. Caucasians, Indians, African Americans, Hispanics, Asians, and yes, even Arabs (as well as other ethnicities), give of their time in service to our country, and some their very lives. Immigrants are enlisted to fight in our armed forces when they don't yet have the right to even vote for their Commander in Chief!
Seems to me it's high time we learned to embrace each other, celebrate the things we have in common, enjoy our differences, put an end to discrimination, and treat one another as equals, no matter what faith, skin color, ethnic background, gender, or sexual orientation we have.
Thank you Colin Powell for saying what needed to be said, and what many of us have been trying to say for a long time.
Thank you Specialist Kareem Rashad Sultan Khan, for being so passionate about serving your country, and for giving your life to fight in the Army while some of your fellow countrymen cannot bring themselves to see you as their brother.
And to Elsheba Khan, I am so sorry for the loss of your son's life as he proudly served a country where some of the "leaders" and your fellow citizens say "Arab", "Islam" and "Muslim" like they are dirty, hate filled words. Please know that there are many among you who believe you have as much right to your religious beliefs as the rest of us do, who mourn the loss of lives in Iraq no matter what race, religion, nationality, or "side" they are on, and who fight the racial/religious profiling and stereotyping of people within our borders.
To those who may be tempted to make some snarky comment about this post, say what you will, but let me just clarify something for you. I personally am proud of our men and women in uniform and support them wholeheartedly. It IS possible to support our troops and yet not support the war. My heart breaks for every family who have had their loved one deployed for months at a time, 2, 3, 4 times in a row, just as it breaks for those whose loved ones come home in a box, and those in Iraq who lose loved ones every day that the media forgets about. As a Democrat I do believe there is a time and a place for the use of our military, I just believe in this case the government got it wrong and a lot of people have paid the ultimate price for it.
I post things like this because unfortunately there are too many people in this country who seem to forget that our military is happy to enlist you, regardless of your race, religion, gender, and often even your sexual orientation. Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Wiccans, Atheists, Agnostics, Christians, and Pagans (as well as numerous other religions) serve side by side every day. Caucasians, Indians, African Americans, Hispanics, Asians, and yes, even Arabs (as well as other ethnicities), give of their time in service to our country, and some their very lives. Immigrants are enlisted to fight in our armed forces when they don't yet have the right to even vote for their Commander in Chief!
Seems to me it's high time we learned to embrace each other, celebrate the things we have in common, enjoy our differences, put an end to discrimination, and treat one another as equals, no matter what faith, skin color, ethnic background, gender, or sexual orientation we have.
Friday, October 17, 2008
What It's Like
I can't get over the "woman's life" air-quotes bull shit from last night's debate. To me, it was a glaring example of what I feel a lot of people in this world lack, UNDERSTANDING and COMPASSION.
For the last two weeks this song has been playing through my mind every day. Every day. I remember when it came out vividly because I was still a "pro-life, anti-abortion Christian". However, I was deeply struggling with the things that I'd been taught were "absolutely wrong", like homosexuality, sex before marriage, and abortion. I listened to the lyrics in this song and they really, really got to me. For an instant I was that girl, being ambushed by protesters while trying to get to the clinic, agonising over the choice I was left to make by the "man" who helped me get into this situation. Then I thought about a woman that was raped and how she would feel, pregnant with the child of her attacker. Or a young girl barely past puberty, her womb violated and impregnated by her father, uncle, the guy next door.
In putting on their shoes and walking for a minute, it all became so clear. What right to we have to judge that which most of us will never have to go through? What right do we have to take away their rights to their bodies? If it were me, would I want people to make that choice for me? NO.
And there you have it, the shift....that moment when the earth shifts beneath you and you know without a doubt that your perspective has been forever altered and you can't go back to the way you were before.
I sincerely wish people would take a moment to step outside their comfort zone and put on the shoes of another in a situation much different than the one they live in. Then maybe, just maybe they could imagine what it's like.
For the last two weeks this song has been playing through my mind every day. Every day. I remember when it came out vividly because I was still a "pro-life, anti-abortion Christian". However, I was deeply struggling with the things that I'd been taught were "absolutely wrong", like homosexuality, sex before marriage, and abortion. I listened to the lyrics in this song and they really, really got to me. For an instant I was that girl, being ambushed by protesters while trying to get to the clinic, agonising over the choice I was left to make by the "man" who helped me get into this situation. Then I thought about a woman that was raped and how she would feel, pregnant with the child of her attacker. Or a young girl barely past puberty, her womb violated and impregnated by her father, uncle, the guy next door.
In putting on their shoes and walking for a minute, it all became so clear. What right to we have to judge that which most of us will never have to go through? What right do we have to take away their rights to their bodies? If it were me, would I want people to make that choice for me? NO.
And there you have it, the shift....that moment when the earth shifts beneath you and you know without a doubt that your perspective has been forever altered and you can't go back to the way you were before.
I sincerely wish people would take a moment to step outside their comfort zone and put on the shoes of another in a situation much different than the one they live in. Then maybe, just maybe they could imagine what it's like.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Connecticut
The last few days have found me thinking of Connecticut. Not because I used to live there, I've never set foot in the state. Not because I know someone who lives there, because, well, I don't. And not because I have some particular need to visit there either, to be honest it's never been on my list of places to visit.
Connecticut is on my mind because last week they overturned a ban on same-sex marriages. In doing so they've become the third state to allow same sex couples to marry, the others being Massachusetts and California. Reading about the ruling was a bright spot in my week, but was quickly tempered with the concern I've had while reading news like this coming out of California. On Nov. 4th they will vote on Proposition 8, an amendment to the state Constitution that would outlaw gay marriage.
As a woman whose sexuality and choice of life partner have been repeatedly discriminated against by 'family', 'friends', and the world I grew up in, this issue hits really close to home. Once again I find myself asking the same question I always do. Why? Why is love between consenting adults so threatening to people? I cannot understand it. Even when I was younger and trying to play the role of the good little conservative Christian girl, I never understood why gay people were seen as so bad. But boy did living in that environment do a number on me as I got older and realised not only was I seen as inferior because I was a woman, but that I had....preferences that others around me didn't, and I had no clue how to deal with them.
And that's another thing....how is it that the same people that vote Republican because they think the government is too involved in things and scream if their guns or businesses are affected in any way, are the same ones that want the government to ban things like abortion, homosexuality, and books/media galore? Seems like the two contradict themselves.
I don't get it people, I just don't get it. With all the hate, anger, war, and human atrocities in this world, don't we all need to encourage as much love as possible?? Why legislate deliberate discrimination borne out of hate?
I had a point to this blog post when I started, but my brain has become so fried with the 'why' question that I can't make sense of anything I've written in the last 30 minutes. So instead I'll leave my ramblings as is and end with this:
Visit noonprop8.com for more information on how you can help with either your time or donations.
Connecticut is on my mind because last week they overturned a ban on same-sex marriages. In doing so they've become the third state to allow same sex couples to marry, the others being Massachusetts and California. Reading about the ruling was a bright spot in my week, but was quickly tempered with the concern I've had while reading news like this coming out of California. On Nov. 4th they will vote on Proposition 8, an amendment to the state Constitution that would outlaw gay marriage.
As a woman whose sexuality and choice of life partner have been repeatedly discriminated against by 'family', 'friends', and the world I grew up in, this issue hits really close to home. Once again I find myself asking the same question I always do. Why? Why is love between consenting adults so threatening to people? I cannot understand it. Even when I was younger and trying to play the role of the good little conservative Christian girl, I never understood why gay people were seen as so bad. But boy did living in that environment do a number on me as I got older and realised not only was I seen as inferior because I was a woman, but that I had....preferences that others around me didn't, and I had no clue how to deal with them.
And that's another thing....how is it that the same people that vote Republican because they think the government is too involved in things and scream if their guns or businesses are affected in any way, are the same ones that want the government to ban things like abortion, homosexuality, and books/media galore? Seems like the two contradict themselves.
I don't get it people, I just don't get it. With all the hate, anger, war, and human atrocities in this world, don't we all need to encourage as much love as possible?? Why legislate deliberate discrimination borne out of hate?
I had a point to this blog post when I started, but my brain has become so fried with the 'why' question that I can't make sense of anything I've written in the last 30 minutes. So instead I'll leave my ramblings as is and end with this:
Visit noonprop8.com for more information on how you can help with either your time or donations.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Wanted: Clever Title
(The hardest part of writing is the damn title, so I've given up changing it for today. One will come to me like 2 weeks from now I bet, unless someone else wants to name it for me! Anyway, on with the post...)
The way I see US politics, people usually fall into one of 5 categories (I'm sure there are more, but for the sake of this blog not taking me days to write, I'm gonna stick to these 5). Disciples, Intellectuals, Sheeple, Apathetics, and the Write-Ins. I'm sure most of us with a diverse friend base know people in each camp. People from every party fall inside these camps. There are Sheeple that will vote for Obama, there are Intellectuals who will vote for McCain. You will also run across articles, podcasts, videos, and blogs by people in all of these categories, isn't the internet great! *snort*
The Apathetic are the ones that either don't care about the election at all, hate politics, fail to see the reason for being politically active and voting, or they are so jaded about politics in general that they refuse to vote because they think it won't have any effect on the outcome. They may talk about The Man keeping them down, or they're too occupied with the latest episode of the OC to think about anything else. These are the people who won't vote. Unfortunately they make up a good portion of the population.
The Write-Ins are those whose candidate of choice either didn't get the mainstream nomination (Dennis Kucinich, Ron Paul, etc...), are a member of a 'non-mainstream' parties whose candidate will not be put on the ballot in some states (Libertarians, Greens, etc...), or they loathe all the people running so much that they'll write in their dog's name in protest. These people are politically active and will vote, just not for either of the main contenders.
The Intellectuals are those voters who make an effort to inform themselves of the candidates' positions on both sides. They're probably politically aware enough that they have opinions of their own and choose the candidate that is most in line with them, or they pick the lesser of two evils because they feel that while they don't fully agree with either side, one candidate would be more preferable than the other. They are likely to feel frustrated with people in the other categories for various reasons, a major one being that it seems the bulk of the population doesn't know how to use their brains anymore.
(One moment, fruit break, blogging uses up so much damn energy!)
The Sheeple. Everybody knows these. The Sheeple are those that vote with a party because their parents, pastor, best friend, or scary emails tell them to. They are the ones who think a salmonella outbreak from fresh tomatoes means they can't eat spaghetti and that we should ban all tomato products. One-issue voters often fall into either this category or are Disciples. The ones who think voting in Obama/Biden means all guns will be banned, or that voting in McCain/Palin will automatically ban abortion and 'stop the genocide of babies'. They will vote for a candidate because they look sexier in a suit, talk like the "average Joe Six Pack", are adorable, or are one specific race or gender. They refuse to talk politics most of the time because they really don't know much about the issues other than what MTV or Pat Robertson tell them, and they'll assume you're a Disciple for "the other side" if you try to engage them in logical conversation.
Last but not least, the Disciples. Disciples were at one time one of the other categories, but for whatever reason have taken the religion of politics to the extreme. There is no reasoning with them, they don't hear you, all they're thinking is how to "covert you" to their side. These aren't the people that will have a frank discussion with you about the flaws in both party's candidates, they believe their choice for President is in effect, the Messiah that will right everything that is wrong with this world and magically make the entire US into what they want it to be. Their eyes look just as glazed over as the Sheeple's do, in fact, many of them are Sheeple on steroids out to save your political soul!
Now that you're all hip with my lingo, I can ramble on in another blog about my mental musings these last few days.
The way I see US politics, people usually fall into one of 5 categories (I'm sure there are more, but for the sake of this blog not taking me days to write, I'm gonna stick to these 5). Disciples, Intellectuals, Sheeple, Apathetics, and the Write-Ins. I'm sure most of us with a diverse friend base know people in each camp. People from every party fall inside these camps. There are Sheeple that will vote for Obama, there are Intellectuals who will vote for McCain. You will also run across articles, podcasts, videos, and blogs by people in all of these categories, isn't the internet great! *snort*
The Apathetic are the ones that either don't care about the election at all, hate politics, fail to see the reason for being politically active and voting, or they are so jaded about politics in general that they refuse to vote because they think it won't have any effect on the outcome. They may talk about The Man keeping them down, or they're too occupied with the latest episode of the OC to think about anything else. These are the people who won't vote. Unfortunately they make up a good portion of the population.
The Write-Ins are those whose candidate of choice either didn't get the mainstream nomination (Dennis Kucinich, Ron Paul, etc...), are a member of a 'non-mainstream' parties whose candidate will not be put on the ballot in some states (Libertarians, Greens, etc...), or they loathe all the people running so much that they'll write in their dog's name in protest. These people are politically active and will vote, just not for either of the main contenders.
The Intellectuals are those voters who make an effort to inform themselves of the candidates' positions on both sides. They're probably politically aware enough that they have opinions of their own and choose the candidate that is most in line with them, or they pick the lesser of two evils because they feel that while they don't fully agree with either side, one candidate would be more preferable than the other. They are likely to feel frustrated with people in the other categories for various reasons, a major one being that it seems the bulk of the population doesn't know how to use their brains anymore.
(One moment, fruit break, blogging uses up so much damn energy!)
The Sheeple. Everybody knows these. The Sheeple are those that vote with a party because their parents, pastor, best friend, or scary emails tell them to. They are the ones who think a salmonella outbreak from fresh tomatoes means they can't eat spaghetti and that we should ban all tomato products. One-issue voters often fall into either this category or are Disciples. The ones who think voting in Obama/Biden means all guns will be banned, or that voting in McCain/Palin will automatically ban abortion and 'stop the genocide of babies'. They will vote for a candidate because they look sexier in a suit, talk like the "average Joe Six Pack", are adorable, or are one specific race or gender. They refuse to talk politics most of the time because they really don't know much about the issues other than what MTV or Pat Robertson tell them, and they'll assume you're a Disciple for "the other side" if you try to engage them in logical conversation.
Last but not least, the Disciples. Disciples were at one time one of the other categories, but for whatever reason have taken the religion of politics to the extreme. There is no reasoning with them, they don't hear you, all they're thinking is how to "covert you" to their side. These aren't the people that will have a frank discussion with you about the flaws in both party's candidates, they believe their choice for President is in effect, the Messiah that will right everything that is wrong with this world and magically make the entire US into what they want it to be. Their eyes look just as glazed over as the Sheeple's do, in fact, many of them are Sheeple on steroids out to save your political soul!
Now that you're all hip with my lingo, I can ramble on in another blog about my mental musings these last few days.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Obama reads and conservative are scared.
A friend forwarded an email to me this morning. We're of the same political opinions and she thought I'd find the subject of the email interesting. I have to put it here because the hilarity of it is too much for me to keep to myself, and it's after 2 am here, and my brain won't be quiet. I've posted it in all it's odd caps, colorised font, panicky glory!!
It's titled: Thought you might like to see what OBAMA likes to read!!
(Not found on Snopes.com or TruthOrFiction.com)
CHECK OUT THE PIC-- IT IS NOT A PHOTOSHOP PIC! SEND THIS ON OR PRINT THIS AND HAND OUT COPIES TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHO DO NOT HAVE EMAIL.
LET AMERICANS KNOW WHAT WE'LL GET IF WE VOTE FOR OBAMA.
Do YOU See what he's reading? Pass this on!
This certainly makes me question the whole candidate and what he says!
This SHOULD open your eyes! What IS IT THAT Obama does read?
...is reading "The Post-American World"--- IT IS THE MUSLIM/ISLAMIC VIEW TO DESTROY AMERICAN FROM WITHIN.
OMG, it's so scary, I don't know how I'll be able to sleep tonight...err...this morning!! How dare he read books! What is this world coming to when a politician voluntarily reads, and reads thought provoking books at that!
Check out the book on Amazon.com. I guess the writer of this email probably figures those 141 people who wrote reviews must be Islamic terrorists in disguise too, right? Hmmmm...people who think like that, forwarding this email, now THAT is something to keep you awake at night!
It's titled: Thought you might like to see what OBAMA likes to read!!
(Not found on Snopes.com or TruthOrFiction.com)
CHECK OUT THE PIC-- IT IS NOT A PHOTOSHOP PIC! SEND THIS ON OR PRINT THIS AND HAND OUT COPIES TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHO DO NOT HAVE EMAIL.
LET AMERICANS KNOW WHAT WE'LL GET IF WE VOTE FOR OBAMA.
Do YOU See what he's reading? Pass this on!
This certainly makes me question the whole candidate and what he says!
This SHOULD open your eyes! What IS IT THAT Obama does read?
...is reading "The Post-American World"--- IT IS THE MUSLIM/ISLAMIC VIEW TO DESTROY AMERICAN FROM WITHIN.
OMG, it's so scary, I don't know how I'll be able to sleep tonight...err...this morning!! How dare he read books! What is this world coming to when a politician voluntarily reads, and reads thought provoking books at that!
Check out the book on Amazon.com. I guess the writer of this email probably figures those 141 people who wrote reviews must be Islamic terrorists in disguise too, right? Hmmmm...people who think like that, forwarding this email, now THAT is something to keep you awake at night!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Oooo...we're in trouble now!
While at a rally in California yesterday, Palin thought she'd share the quote by Madeline Albright she found on the side of her Starbuck's cup.
"There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women."
Except for that's not quite what Albright said. The correct quote is:
"There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't help other women."
Freudian slip maybe?
As the crowd cheered in response to Palin's comment she then said, "Okay, now, thank you so much for receiving that well. I didn't know how that was gonna go over. And now, California, let's see what a comment like I just made, how that is turned into whatever it'll be turned into tomorrow with the newspaper."
Ahhh yes, playing that 'mainstream media are a bunch of bullies' card an awful lot aren't ya Sarah! And right on top of playing the gender card! That oughta get you triple points or something!
Damn you Starbucks for tripping her up! We know you put that quote there just so she'd misread it and misquote it at her rally that morning! Don't worry, we're on to you, we know you're gunning for Obama. ;-P
Next I suppose McCain will have to screen each coffee cup to ensure the quote has been blacked out before she gets a hold of it and we have yet another misquote on our hands. *shakes head*
Or, she could just say she meant to do that...you know, it was a joke, we just didn't catch on 'cause we're humorless or something.
It's okay Sarah, don't worry. I'll bring the marshmallows and you can bring the graham crackers and with all the women that'll be in hell with us there's sure to be chocolate around. We'll have ourselves a grand time around the ole hell fire!
"There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women."
Except for that's not quite what Albright said. The correct quote is:
"There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't help other women."
Freudian slip maybe?
As the crowd cheered in response to Palin's comment she then said, "Okay, now, thank you so much for receiving that well. I didn't know how that was gonna go over. And now, California, let's see what a comment like I just made, how that is turned into whatever it'll be turned into tomorrow with the newspaper."
Ahhh yes, playing that 'mainstream media are a bunch of bullies' card an awful lot aren't ya Sarah! And right on top of playing the gender card! That oughta get you triple points or something!
Damn you Starbucks for tripping her up! We know you put that quote there just so she'd misread it and misquote it at her rally that morning! Don't worry, we're on to you, we know you're gunning for Obama. ;-P
Next I suppose McCain will have to screen each coffee cup to ensure the quote has been blacked out before she gets a hold of it and we have yet another misquote on our hands. *shakes head*
Or, she could just say she meant to do that...you know, it was a joke, we just didn't catch on 'cause we're humorless or something.
It's okay Sarah, don't worry. I'll bring the marshmallows and you can bring the graham crackers and with all the women that'll be in hell with us there's sure to be chocolate around. We'll have ourselves a grand time around the ole hell fire!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
How a perfectionist came to know wabi-sabi
I'm a perfectionist. I think I inherited it from my mother. Looking back I can see it in her frustration at not being able to keep a spotless house with 3 children running around all day, in her agitation at not being on time for something, in the way she would purse her lips and sigh when walking into my bedroom (aka "the disaster area"). Somehow it infected me at a young age, I remember coloring a picture as a child and being so mad with myself when I colored outside the lines that I would immediately flip to another page in the coloring book and start again. If only perfection were as easy to obtain as we get older...but it isn't. The constant pursuit of said perfection in this world is a recipe for insanity and in my teens it was something that made large portions of my life a living hell. I felt the need to control everything, because without control over something I couldn't make it perfect, and if it couldn't be perfect then what was the point in fucking with it to begin with?
Clearly something had to change, but how? I went through the rest of my teens still trying to make everything do exactly what I wanted, and panicking over everything that didn't fall neatly into place. I think my Christian background didn't help the matter any. I felt like I had to keep track of every wrong so I could ask forgiveness for it, keep a close watch on everything I did and said, and felt the weight not only of my own imperfections but the imperfections of everyone around me. Sure, I was told that it was okay to be imperfect because only Jesus could be a perfect human, but it all just felt so wrong to me.
Right before I turned 21 the world I was trying to juggle fell apart. I'm not going to repeat it here, but it was big, scary, and the effects of those months shoved me into a deep depression, worse than any I had dealt with before. Coming out of it was long and hard and along with the perfectionistic streak still whipping my ass I got the bonus of panic attacks! Such fun! And yet, during that time I felt something struggling to be left behind--the religion I was raised in. Through studying different religions and in specific the goddess traditions in paganism I learned something that Christianity failed to teach me. That this world is of our own creation. Within us all is divinity and we each day create the lives we live. They are not always ideal, they are not all a bed of roses, there are struggles we all face, but at the end of the day they are what they are, and there is completeness in them. I realised for the first time that it was okay to not have an absolute answer for everything, some things can only be known in time, and some things will in all honesty elude us for a lifetime. I learned a lot of other things, but that will come in later posts I'm sure.
While studying Japanese concepts I first learned about wabi-sabi, but it didn't sink in fully until about a year later. I was talking with Chris (the one I'm married to now) and had said something I can't recall now and Chris's response to it was something about how wabi-sabi my outlook was. Intrigued I looked into it further and the changes in my perfectionism finally clicked. One of the most valuable things I had learned was to appreciate the beauty in everything around me and that "imperfections" are often the very thing that make something so beautiful. Think of all the beauty we'd miss if everything was flawless. Beauty is fleeting, everchanging, and rarely ever perfect in the eyes of everyone, and that's okay. And in that new concept of beauty I was able to finally breathe, relax, and take a step back from the obessive pursuit of perfectionism.
Yes, there are still days when I obsess because the bathroom is a mess, the laundry pile I just folded has fallen over and I haven't gotten to everything on my to-do list. But then sparkling sunlight playing off a flower just past its "prime"catches my eye and everything pauses around me as I grab the camera to capture the perfect wabi-sabi moment happening right before my eyes.
Clearly something had to change, but how? I went through the rest of my teens still trying to make everything do exactly what I wanted, and panicking over everything that didn't fall neatly into place. I think my Christian background didn't help the matter any. I felt like I had to keep track of every wrong so I could ask forgiveness for it, keep a close watch on everything I did and said, and felt the weight not only of my own imperfections but the imperfections of everyone around me. Sure, I was told that it was okay to be imperfect because only Jesus could be a perfect human, but it all just felt so wrong to me.
Right before I turned 21 the world I was trying to juggle fell apart. I'm not going to repeat it here, but it was big, scary, and the effects of those months shoved me into a deep depression, worse than any I had dealt with before. Coming out of it was long and hard and along with the perfectionistic streak still whipping my ass I got the bonus of panic attacks! Such fun! And yet, during that time I felt something struggling to be left behind--the religion I was raised in. Through studying different religions and in specific the goddess traditions in paganism I learned something that Christianity failed to teach me. That this world is of our own creation. Within us all is divinity and we each day create the lives we live. They are not always ideal, they are not all a bed of roses, there are struggles we all face, but at the end of the day they are what they are, and there is completeness in them. I realised for the first time that it was okay to not have an absolute answer for everything, some things can only be known in time, and some things will in all honesty elude us for a lifetime. I learned a lot of other things, but that will come in later posts I'm sure.
While studying Japanese concepts I first learned about wabi-sabi, but it didn't sink in fully until about a year later. I was talking with Chris (the one I'm married to now) and had said something I can't recall now and Chris's response to it was something about how wabi-sabi my outlook was. Intrigued I looked into it further and the changes in my perfectionism finally clicked. One of the most valuable things I had learned was to appreciate the beauty in everything around me and that "imperfections" are often the very thing that make something so beautiful. Think of all the beauty we'd miss if everything was flawless. Beauty is fleeting, everchanging, and rarely ever perfect in the eyes of everyone, and that's okay. And in that new concept of beauty I was able to finally breathe, relax, and take a step back from the obessive pursuit of perfectionism.
Yes, there are still days when I obsess because the bathroom is a mess, the laundry pile I just folded has fallen over and I haven't gotten to everything on my to-do list. But then sparkling sunlight playing off a flower just past its "prime"catches my eye and everything pauses around me as I grab the camera to capture the perfect wabi-sabi moment happening right before my eyes.
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