Where’s my redo button damn it?!?

Our evening started out with good intentions. All I wanted was a broccoli cheese baked potato and a nice salad. All Chris wanted was a good bowl of ramen. Realising that obtaining those items wouldn't happen in the same place, we came up with a plan. Go get Chris' ramen at the Japanese place first (since it would stay hotter longer), then go get my baked potato and salad at Wendy's (since not many places here do baked potatoes). So we set off. Chris' food was obtained in record time, in a lovely largeStyrofoam bowl that would keep it piping hot for a good long while. Then we were off to Wendy's. Chris ran in and got my food while I stayed out in the car holding the object of Chris' food cravings... While walking back to the car with my food, Chris noted the exceptionally shitty parking job (note: it wasn't me who was driving) and decided to correct it. In the midst of correcting the parking job Chris was struck with a brilliant idea--"Hey, since I've already got the car started, let's go eat at the beach!" Now here is the perfect example of a time when I should have obeyed my tummy and protested, I mean, I had a bowl of steaming ramen secured between my knees, a salad and baked potato balanced on my crossed leg, and a drink in one hand... But did I listen to my tummy? No. I rationalised that I could wait, we'd be there within 5 minutes and get to soak up the cool sea breezes while munching on our dinner. *snort*

Anyhow, we get to the beach, I hand over Chris' ramen (which Chris dives into while commenting on the well composed yumminess of it all) and open the Wendy's bag.....to discover no fork and no salad dressing. Now, no fork could have been worked around 'til I remembered the steaming cheese and broccoli covered baked potato waiting for my attention. The lack of dressing annoyed me too because I mean, come on, they overcharge for salad to begin with, the least they can do is remember the fucking dressing! So Chris insists on going back and getting the missing items so we both can eat, I argue, but really figure we don't have a choice given the food I have. So the lid goes back on the ramen, still steaming hot (effective bowl!) and gets settled back onto my lap, the equally hot smothered baked potato gets balanced on my crossed leg, the salad gets settled next to my purse in the floor, and back down the road we go. As we rounded the corner the sun blinded us...it was close to sundown so at the perfect "sun-strike" level. Chris drove a bit down the road and had to steer into the other lane to avoid this idiot family walking down the middle of the road with their kids, but as we neared the roundabout the sun suddenly got much worse and I couldn't see a damn thing (and I had polarised sunglasses on) so I realised Chris couldn't (with no sunglasses on)...just as I was about to comment on that we slammed into the curb! It seems that in easing back into our lane the distance between the lane and the curb got misjudged and with the sun hitting at that angle there was no way to actually see it. Ordinarily running up onto the curb would be no big deal.....right? *snort* That doesn't apply for curbs that happen to have giant rocks embedded in them that you can't see 'til you're on top of! So....the rocks slammed into the tire and underside of the car and trashed it....while others put very big dents into the passenger side of the car....yes....the passenger side. Remember all the yummy food we were salivating over? The baked potato flew up into the air and landed on my pant leg and foot....steaming my foot with its cheesy goodness....and that nice bowl of piping hot ramen? Well, the liquid from it poured all over my leg and stomach on its journey to the floor of the car (but oddly enough most of the noodles stayed in the bowl, so weren't lost).

We sat there stunned for a minute while I shrieked at the scalding broth soaking into my jeans and burning my thigh...then I stopped and looked at Chris calmly and said "It will be okay, we're okay, now what are we gonna do with the car?" Thankfully Chris was able to pull it into a nearby parking lot so it would be out of the road. We sat there for a minute and I started rambling on about how it was going to be okay because at least we didn't hit anybody, no one was seriously injured, the broth wasn't hot enough to cause severe burns (just scald my skin a good bit), and we were within walking from home instead of on the side of the highway or something. A woman nicely asked us if we were okay...by that time I was just laughing hysterically over the whole thing (I mean I was COVERED in food) so I think she realised that we weren't hurt. Chris fumed over the whole thing for a few minutes, then proceeded to say "Fuck it, I'm eating what's left of my dinner" and ate the noodles that had survived in the bowl.

We decided we should stay put for a bit and clean out the car...so I got out to survey the damage, soup still running down my leg, cheese splattered all over my feet. The front tire (which was rather new) was completely blown out. The plastic-like thing that lines the tire well was ripped out and hanging over the wheel, so there was really no way to change the tire, plus, we hit HARD and I was concerned about the tie rod underneath the front end. The passenger door was smashed in down towards the bottom, it's a miracle that I could open the door. The back door also got a really good dent along the bottom (think where the door meets along the bottom of the car) and I'm glad we could actually get it opened and closed too.

After talking it over, in light of the fact that the car already has a shitload wrong with it (oil leak that makes it smoke but they can't find, the dash shorted out a few weeks ago and we have no clock, radio, cigarette lighter or fan) and how bad we hit the rock covered curb, I think it's likely that it will cost more to fix it than the car is worth....in other words, unless there is no damage underneath it, the thing is headed to the junkyard. *sighs*

Good news is we are okay. My back and neck are really hurting this morning, and my leg will feel the effects of the scalding soup and potato for several days. Chris fared better, got a bit splashed with the soup as it flew all over me, but not much of it. We cleaned out the car, packed all the stuff we had in it into bags and then trudged up the hill to the flat. I underestimated how bad the walk would be in my current condition (with all the health problems lately) and, well, I still can't believe I made it to the flat without passing out. It took a good soak to get my muscles to stop spasming...walking when you can no longer control the tensing of the muscles in your legs it a real challenge I must say. If I don't find a useful doctor soon I'm gonna have to kill somebody, because last night reminded both Chris and I exactly how bad things have gotten. *sighs*

Moral of the story? Sometimes I think the gods are laughing at us all....*evil grin*

Play a game and feed the hungry!

Play a game and feed the hungry...those 2 things don't usually make any sense together. But today they do, check out this site!

http://www.freerice.com

It's a word game where you pick the synonym of words. For every right word you pick the sponsors will donate 10 grains of rice to help fight world hunger. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's an addictive little game, and rather quickly those grains add up...

FreeRice began on October 7, 2007 with only 830 grains of rice donated.... but as of October 27, 2007----330,228,600 grains have been donated.

Really, it's a brilliant marketing ploy...you see ads at the bottom for participating sponsors. But at the same time it works to make people a bit more conscious about world hunger and the companies that are committed to help solve the problem, I have to give them kudos for that.

So go on...play...you know you want to. It's educational, helps you build your vocabulary to see how many obscure words you know and at the same time you can earn rice to help fight world hunger!

Good, but not good enough...

Today the Georgia Supreme Court did what it should have done a LONG time ago...dismissed the 10 year sentence Genarlow Wilson was serving for having CONSENSUAL oral sex with a 15 yr old girl when he was 17 yrs old, at a party. He's been in jail for over 2 years because he (rightfully) refused a plea bargin that would have greatly reduced his sentence, because he maintained that he had done nothing wrong and was not going to admit guilt for a crime he did not commit.

The crime? He was charged with "aggrevated child molestation". Why? Because they were having oral sex and so the fact that she consented was not relevent in court... although it would have been if they had been having intercourse. Under that sentence he is considered a sex offender and upon parole would not have even been able to go home and live with his family due to the fact that he has a much younger sister, and being in contact with her would violate his parole.

I do not have words to say how incredibly disgusted I am over this case. I've been following the progression of this for a long time now. It's great that the charges were dismissed today, but no amount of apologies or justice NOW can possibly right the wrong that has been done to this young man. Nothing can give back the years spent in prison serving out a sentence for an act that should not be a crime. Nothing can take away the effects it will have on the rest of his life.

When will we as a nation learn that we cannot legislate what is and is not an acceptable sex act between consenting people? It's as if we are moving backwards instead of forwards.... Making consensual sex a crime, teaching abstinence only sex ed in schools, trying to personal impose religious beliefs as national law. We are supposed to be the greatest country on earth, and yet we are still so far behind where we should be.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/26/us/26cnd-georgia.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilson_v._State_of_Georgia

Maxi-Pad Letter---this made me laugh so hard my stomach hurts!

I don't know if this is an actual letter someone sent or not. But it was posted on another list I'm on and it made me laugh so hard I just had to share it with all the women I know!

-Tiara

************ ********* ********* ********* *********
This is (supposedly) an actual letter sent to Proctor and Gamble
regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the
first paragraph...

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your "Always" maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills."

Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior.

You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?

FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

The love that will finally speak its name

This article was posted on a list I belong to. I read it and cried I was so touched. I thought I would share it with everyone else.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20427661/site/newsweek/

http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/homepage/abox/article_1837112.php

Can you imagine, living with the one you love for 44 YEARS and not being able to be out in the open about it? Pretending to be roommates so you won't get fired from your job, shunned by your family, ostracised in your community...or even tortured and killed? What a burden that must be. And yet, it's a burden that many have carried and continue to carry this very day, all over the world.

Women and Porn

Ask a woman what she thinks about porn, and in my experience she will happily tell you....and it's not normally the most favorable opinion either. Why? Because, most feel it's degrading, objectifies women, and gives men a messed up view of sex. And they are right, there is porn that does that. But, many women also tell me that honestly porn just doesn't turn them on that much because the subject matter doesn't appeal to them. Doesn't get their motor running...so to speak.

Well, that's all about to change! I have found porn for women! That's right ladies, here it is, something that'll really stoke your fire! Check it out:

http://www.allowe.com/Humor/femalePorn.htm

I know it's made me all hot and bothered... *wink*

P.S. Thanks Janet for the hot link...*smooches*

Hey guys...remember this stuff??

This made me laugh so had I had to repost it! Thanks Bree!!!!

Age: 25

1. Did you listen to New Kids on the Block? Had the cassettes, sheets, blanket, video (that I memorised all their coreography from) and ALL the "action figures" several of which James cut to pieces one day when he was mad at me and made his GI Joe send to my Barbies in pieces...it was traumatic...NEVER play Barbies with him!!!

2. Did you ever own a slap bracelet? OMG yes and would slap then on and off 'til my Mom threatened to take them away...

3. The Babysitter's Club or Sweet Valley High? Babysitters Club!!! I had boxes of them...Those books were SO much better than Sweet Valley Crap!

4. Salute Your Shorts or Hey Dude? LOL! "Camp Anawanna, we hold you in our hearts, and when we think about you, it makes me wanna fart!!" (But honestly, I watched "Hey Dude" too...)

5. Kids Incorporated or The Mickey Mouse Club? "Kids Incorporated... K-I-D-S YES!"

6. Did you want Dylan to end up w/ Brenda or Kelly? My Mom wouldn't let me watch that show...but later on I saw enough of it to decide Brenda!

7. Remember ALF? Yes...and my Mom's dog Koa looks like his brother I swear!

8. Do you remember the show Dinosaurs? Remember the "I'm the Baby, Gotta Love Me..." music video? LOL

9. Do/did you know the words to the Fresh Prince them song? I know every word to it...ask me and I'll recite it...it's odd how those things get stuck in your head...

10. Kimmie Gibler or Urkel? "I've fallen and I can't get up!!"

11. Blossom or Clarissa Explains It All? Blossom....cause OMG her brother was so hot!!

12. Did you have a crush on JTT? Uh...yeah, but not as much as ROSEMAY did!!

13. Bobby Brown or Tevin Campbell? Neither... I was more of a "Kris Kross will make ya Jump Jump!!"...and remember Shai? "Lay down and tell me what's on your mind..." OMG I LOVED that song...

14. Step By Step or Full House? Full House...I mean come on, John Stamos? Need I say more?

15. Did you listen to Milli Vanilli? I did... Did you know that one of the duo actually COULD sing...very well in fact, and commited suicide a while back? So sad...

16. Mr. Rogers or Reading Rainbow? "Take a look, it's in a book, a Reading Rainbow!!" I loved that show...

17. Did you own a Glo Worm? I could swear I did....

18. Paula Abdul: better now or then? Then... I had all her CDs!

19. Wild 'n' Crazy Kids or Double Dare? Double Dare!

20. Remember Legends of the Hidden Temple? Yup... I always got mad when they messed up what they were supposed to be doing...LOL

21. The Mighty Ducks or The Little Giants? Ducks ducks ducks!!

22. Did you watch Saved By The Bell? All the way through "The College Years" I was a hardcore fan...and obviously a TV junkie back then!

23. Who was hotter: Zack or Slater / Kelly or Jessie? Zack was funny...Slater was sexy..and I always felt bad for Screech... Kelly was hotter...but so was Lisa....Jessie got on my nerves!

24. Camp Nowhere or House Arrest? Meh, didn't think either one was great... I was too busy watching "Encino Man" and "Biodome"!

25. Did you own a pair of Reebok Pumps? Nope...too busy with hi tops and Jellys...

26. Carebears or Smurfs? Carebears!!! I loved them...even had stuffed ones...

27. Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake? Strawberry Shortcake!

28. Did you watch Miami Vice? Nope...

29. Did you own a pair of Jelly Shoes? Yup, see above...LOL

30. Did you own a Trapper Keeper? Yes, begged my Mom for a new one every school year...then got those paint pens and drew on the cover of it...*grin*

31. Atari or Nintendo? Mario Bros and Duck Hunt...it took my parents FOREVER to let us have an Nintendo...